Congratulations! You've toked your way through high school.

Staying focused on your shit when your at a private school full of stoners and mental cases is not easy, but after four years of this dumb shit, I finally pulled it off. I could care less that I gaduated from high school. That academic shit was so easy I could pull it off again in under a week. It's the social life at the school that can make your average Jerome go bananas.

So about my school; it used to be an actual college-prep place before the admissions director fell off my sophmore year. That was a fuckin great change I had to deal with. One second you have a bunch of normal, balanced kids. The next, hordes of junkies in self-denile come swarming into the classroom. It wasn't all bad. When you're forced into close proximity with these kids, you become "friends" with people you'd never talk to on the Berkeley High playground.

It's a real fucked up situation over here. Some kids come from families where their parents don't give a shit about em, other kids act like jerkoffs to their family for no reason. Some kids love their family but they got a bigger thing for reefer. Some kids got mental issues. Some kids are cleptos. Whatever the case, it's hard to find anyone that's balanced at my school.

I'm not one of those anti-drug loud mouths. Let kids do what they want. But when kids lose their self-control and become attached to their pipe, that's when you got to say "CALM THE FUCK DOWN!" This is the problem with the kids at my school, moderation is the word unheard. These kids constantly have weed, beer, and other stupid shit on their minds, and I mean CONSTANTLY. The school admins know a lot of these kids have drug problems, so to make sure the kids are staying sober, they have UA's (urinary analysis for the gangstas holdin down the house in the 925 and 510). If your UA shows up dirty, you're either suspended or expelled, depending on how much you've fucked up in the past. Being the smart and loyal friend that I am, I'll step in and be the guardian Shaolin Monk for my friends. "You've been going over board with that shit, man. You should put down the joint and take it easy for a month or so." And they say, "yO DuN, tEh fukC U KnOW maNN? U doNt nOT EvenN SMOKE TEH GANJJJJJJA!"

And the next day, they're gone.

Having said "see ya" to my fair share of buddies, I've come to grips with the fact that no matter what I say, kids just don't listen to me. So nowadays, when a friend gets kicked out for doing that stupid shit, I either say "way to go dumbass" or I don't say anything at all. I don't have any sympathy for kids that aren't listening to reason.

I'm really surprised that some of these kids are actually graduating, let alone getting into college. All they've had to do for the past four years is take a bunch of art and pottery classes, and since they're never busy with projects for REAL classes, they're always going out and having fun on outdoor trips while I'm stuck on campus setting up the sound system for a shitty debate tournament, not to mention all the other gracious stuff I do around here. Guess what? I still get no respect for it. Kids think I'm nothing but a sucker for trying so hard.

For a while I felt like abandoning all my hard work and just start fucking nasty lushes uptown. But then I started hearing from last years seniors...

Turns out that most of the kids that spent their time fucking around at the school got fucked by the real world. There are tons of great stories. Four 2004 alumns were attending St. Mary's College, which isn't such a bad place. Just a few weeks into the school year they were kicked out because they brought that Wasatch shit with them. They were selling fucking COCAINE and packing GUNS.......at St.Mary's College of all places! Oh yeah, and then there are those two 2004 alumns that I adore, the two that are living the "high" life in the ritzy SLC. Turns out they can't survive without Wasatch. They don't have any friends besides each other and have to come back to Wasatch every weekend just to feel cool again. They've made something of themselves by selling weed and shrooms to current Wasatch students. Half of the dynamic duo is a bum that lives on the streets of SLC. Hahahahaha that is so fucking great! Fuck em both, and fuck the dumbasses that join up with that crew. Plenty of other stories.

So that's my school for yah. I'm done with this shit in just a few days.

James and Kunga, we made it!